How do you feel?

Have you ever looked at a photo of yourself and immediately started picking out every little thing you don't like about yourself. Ahh those stretch marks, my forehead is too big, my tummy rolls, my arms are too fat. You know what I mean? We have all done it at one point in our lives.

When I post my before and after photos of when I was anorexic I often get messages from men saying they like my before photos. That I was beautiful and so on. Someone can look beautiful and so on but what about how they felt when they got that photo taken? How I felt in those moments was weak, not enough, starving, fat..etc and in my after photos I am a nourished, loving, glowing, happy woman.

In a lot of my old modeling photos I now look back and realize there was no emotional connection between me and the photo. All I see is a pretty face and fit body but that's all. When others look at my old modeling photos I often get told I had dead eyes, I look sad, I look lost or not present.

We take photos to capture the moment so we can relive it forever but we often get lost in taking the perfect photo instead of truly capturing the moment and emotions that were going on when that photo was taken.

If we focus more on the feelings and less on being perfect then we will be pleased more when we receive the photo. I was recently talking with my friend Arkady Brown who is a photographer and her perspective is amazing. When she photographs woman she puts them through a little meditation, plays music and does anything she can to make the woman feel good in there bodies. She doesn't try to make the woman look sexy she simply guides the women into releasing the sexiness they already have from within. She wants them to feel at there absolute best so when they receive the photos they remember that moment. That moment where they could be themselves and feel good in there own bodies.

The next time you take someones photo or you get your photo taken...ask the question, "How do you feel?" or "How do I feel?"

I believe this would change the whole problem we have with critizing our photos and help us to remember to enjoy the moment when that photos is being taken. Don't pose, sing, smile, laugh until you cry, tell a joke, run around yourself and be silly. Those are the most fun moments to capture and you will never forget them.

My most commented disconnected photo:

vs this photo where I will remember this happy day forever:

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Sunrise over the Wheat Field